Hello 2012!

Been meaning to blog for a very long time le but keep on putting it off coz i was lazy. Oh well since tonight i cant sleep so shall update abit ba.

First thing first, for those of you who read my last post, you must be dying to know how much I did for my GPA ba. After all the anxious moments, I finally clicked to find out what my GPA was and in that instant I felt both happy and sad. It was a weird feeling seeing my GPA. To be more exact, I didnt noe if it was a result to be happy or sad. I mean i didnt do badly but neither did i do well. It was reali a "eh...." result.

Oh well, anw however bad/good I did, it's all all carved in stone now le. Shall just work harder for this sem. Was randomly reading my past blog posts earlier and I came across this on one of my post, "故天将降大任于斯人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿其体肤" So yups, shall just treat it as another test from God. 


Oh anyway, on the school side, things are going relatively well. I mean i'm still hanging out with M, Z and E they all. We are in the same project grp for some classes and we still keep in contact, which is great actually. Though at times i wonder if too much of a good ting is a bad thing. Maybe i'm too closed to them le. At times when you are too close to something, you can't help being afraid. Afraid of the day when you will lose them. Esp so for M. 


There are times where I wish i wasn't so close to M, though on second tots i definitely take those words back, but yea, getting close to M during the hols were great. Hanging out with M, Z, E and J brought a smile back on my face and to a certain extent increased my confidence. Being with them allows me to be myself. That's the wonderful thing about hanging around them. No need to worry about being too insensitive or anything. No hidden agendas and no lying and stuff. Going out with them just makes me feel like my old self. The old, confident (at times abit too confident) me which i have missed ever since I graduated from secondary school. 


To top it off, M knows me well, like abit too well at times that it's scary but still good. Somehow M forces me to face my fears. Immature as M might be, M forces me to confront stuff I would run away from and M doesn't beat around the bush, something i do all the time. Funny how M actually makes me a better person. For someone that always say "i dont care", M actually cares more than anyone in the grp. Surprising for someone that chooses who to be friends with.


Maybe it's M's weirdness that attracts me. M's unique in that way you can argue. If onli i had knew M earlier. When it comes to M, i always think that I didnt lost to him, I lost to time. That's the sad thing I guess. Somehow it's funny how whenever i wanna give up, I will keep on seeing M. Like today, i ran into M, 3 times, and that's alot for someone who only left his room 6 times today. To top it off, M mistakenly called me when M wanted to call him. Damn. If only we met earlier, if only....


Oh well, S thinks that we are too similar to be together. Which i oso agree to a certain extent. We share too similar fashion taste already and not to mention we understand each other and can click damn well, like well to a scary extent. I still remember the first time we met, M didnt say Hi or anything, M just started talking and my first impression was like "do I know this person?" It was as if old friends were meeting after a long time. As if I had know M for the past 21 years. Okay okay, maybe i'm being too dramatic here but yea, you get my point.


Whatever it is, I'm just glad we are good friends now. I wont ask for anything more, of course if there is i will take it, but yea, maybe being friends is the best. Afterall, it's been proven that i' a bad boyfriend. lol. Just look at my past failed r/s and you will know le. haha.


Talking about that, thanks for the letter/email on New Year. Reading it did bring back alot of memories. Just so you know, i never blamed you for anything. It was my fault that I didnt know how to handle it. Like what you said, you were young then and with the things happening in your life, who can blame you for what happen. If only you sent me that email then, maybe things will be different but the past is the past. We can't change that. For now I can only wish you all the best and sorry.


Oh just so you are thinking i'm emo, i'm NOT. Just getting sentimental here plus I just wanna type whatever that was in my head out. Okays i shall go sleep le.

Nites ppl and ciao!